Top 10 Top 10s of 2015

Matt Looker,
Ali Gray,
Becky Suter,
Ed Williamson,
Rob Young

31st December 2015

5. Top 10 Republican tweets about American Sniper in 2015

10. This guy

9. This lovely bunch

8. This reasoned social commentator

7. This big Obama fan

6. This purveyor of unimpeachable logic

5. This genius

4. This tireless exposer of liberal hypocrisy

3. This caps-lock surfer

2. Proud Republican Dean Cain, famously a non-interventionist, small-government Superman

1. Gateway Pundit and their readers, who exposed The Shiznit's Marxist sympathies (read the comments)

4. Top 10 movie news headlines that no one needed in 2015

10. ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Probably, Maybe, Most Likely Won’t Feature Any of Netflix’s Defenders

9. Jason Momoa Didn’t Know Zack Snyder Was Going to Post Aquaman Photo

8. M. Night Shyamalan Says an ‘Unbreakable 2’ Would Be “Cool”

7. ‘Frozen 2’ Is Not Yet In The Works

6. Cameron Crowe Has Thought About Making a ‘Say Anything’ Sequel

5. There’s No Movement on ‘Fast and Furious 8’ Yet

4. Hasbro Might Be Thinking of Making a Gobots Movie

3. Director Terry Gilliam Actually Likes ‘Ant-Man’

2. Steven Soderbergh Hasn’t Changed His Mind on Retirement

1. Slimer May or May Not Be in the ‘Ghostbusters’ Reboot
3. The 10 most nonsensical movie titles of 2015

10. Pay the Ghost

Does he take contactless, or will I have to run to the cash machine?

9. Self/less

Self forward slash less? Self divided by less? What does it mean?

8. Infinitely Polar Bear

Purple Monkey Yellow Dishwasher

7. Fifty Shades Of Grey

The human eye can actually distinguish more than 500 shades of grey. That’s an awful lot of spanking.

6. True Story

Other considerations "Some Events May Have Been Fictionalised For Dramatic Events", "This Is A Film"

5. The Devil’s Violinist

Be sober-minded and watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour, and will force you to play "Pop Goes The Weasel".

4. Blackhat

Because a) there are NO hats in it, 2) "Thorfish" would have been funnier.

3. The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water

You know that well-known saying, "Like a sponge out of water?" No, not fish, sponge. Because sponges typically live in water. And also in that funny rack thing that goes over the bed.

2. Magic Mike XXL

Does it come in medium as well? No?

1. Terminator Genisys

If we all playd abt wuth vuwyls all the tyme thyr’d b anarchy.
2. Top 10 worst lines of dialogue in 2015

10. Tomorrowland

Casey Newton: "There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is... which wolf wins?"
Eddie Newton: "The one you feed."

9. Kingsman: The Secret Service

Princess Tilde: "If you save the world... we can do it in the asshole?"

8. Burnt

Simone: "When I lie awake at night and list my regrets, you're one of them. I say to myself, 'You're a lesbian. Why did you sleep with Adam Jones?'"

7. Steve Jobs

John Sculley: "Why do people like you who were adopted feel like they were rejected instead of selected?"

6. Jurassic World

Owen Grady: "Don't worry. It's gonna be just like taking a walk in the woods... [serious face] 65 million years ago."

5. Terminator Genisys

Kyle Reese: "A straight line... you just go and you don't look back"
Sarah Connor: "Where did you hear that?"
Kyle Reese: "In a past I shouldn't remember... but I do."

4. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

Alan Hunley: "Hunt is uniquely trained and highly motivated - a specialist without equal - immune to any countermeasures. There is no secret he cannot extract, no security he cannot breach, no person he cannot become. He has most likely anticipated this very conversation and is waiting to strike in whatever direction we move. Sir, Hunt is the living manifestation of destiny - and he has made you his mission."

3. Taken 3

Franck Dotzler: "I knew from the beginning. It was the bagels. They were warm. What kind of guy goes out to get warm bagels, comes back and commits murder?"

2. San Andreas

Daniel Riddick: [an architect, reading a glossy book of buildings] "I guess the reason I never had any kids is that I was too busy raising these!"

1. Jupiter Ascending

Stinger Apini: "Bees don't lie."
1. Top 10 best Shiznit articles of 2015

10. 17 Things We Still Don't Know About Star Wars: The Force Awakens
"Is the shitter in the front? Is the shitter in the back? Is the shitter on the lower levels? Is the shitter in the bulkhead? Is the shitter near the cargo bay? Is the shitter situated near the air-lock for sanitary reasons?"

9. 22 Plot Ideas To Make Burnt More Interesting
"Adam Jones puts his face in a colander for a joke but, chillingly, it is actually an African death mask meaning he is cursed to die within 24 hours."

8. Secret Cinema: Audiences Wowed As Man Arrives Dressed As Han Solo
""As soon as I heard they were doing Star Wars for Secret Cinema, I knew I would dress as Han," he said. "I kept it a secret for months in case anyone stole my idea.""

7. Paramount Comic-Con Panel Formally Apologies For Terminator Genisys
""Believe me, If I could go back in time and not make the movie, then I would," noted Courtney unconvincingly, before confirming that there were not currently any plans to explore this option."

6. The Avengers Tube Map
"The Marvel Cinematic Universe is now so large it feels like it needs its own transportation system to navigate it adequately - that's our terrible segue for introducing our very own Marvel-themed Central London Tube map, created for reasons we can't quite remember!"

5. Liveblog: Peter Jackson's Entire Middle-Earth Saga
"Today, marks a special day in history: The first chronological appearance of Legolas in the entire Middle Earth series of films! It’s ace too – he’s so cool. Also, I just heard that the UK got a new king."

4. 8 Other Stupid Extreme Things That Could Be Point Break Posters
"I hate to tell you this, Marketing Bods, but asking your audience to "find their breaking point" actually contradicts your other slogan claiming that crime has "no limit". Please do semantics better in future."

3. Ranking The Fast & Furious Movies In The Order In Which They Were Made
"We might as well break it to you here and now, the #1 movie on this list is going to be The Fast And The Furious. To go back on the rules we've established thus far would be to betray any readers who have enjoyed our strict adherence to those boundaries."

2. One From The Mailbag: A True Lies Extra Gets In Touch
"The Swiss Alps are fake as I remember them discussing how it would be added 'in post'. This was said by a PA with the nickname 'Dancing Bear'."

1. 101 Sexual Special Moves That Don't Appear In Fifty Shades Of Grey
"Funt munching."
Yes, that's right. Our top top 10 is a list of our own work. Mainly because we forgot we even did anything this year. Here's to 2016! I have a feeling it's going to be an awesome year for more unfinished, unpublished features.

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