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Heroes

News, Reviews, Features, Trailers & Rants...

Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

Posted by Ali Gray at 22:46 on 19 May 2016
X-Men: Apocalypse
Forgive me for sounding like I'm on the company payroll, but have Marvel movies ruined superhero movies for everyone else? I fear they have. The Marvel Cinematic Universe made its own space in the superhero sphere; it owns the area marked 'fun'. DC, as a countermeasure to all the lousy fun everyone was enjoying, staked their claim on the 'serious' space; heroes with grim faces carved out of rock, pre-tantrum lip-wobble expressions lashed with rain. Where does this leave the X-Men? I'm sure I don't know anymore, because X-Men: Apocalypse attempts to be all things to all people and ends up being neither overtly fun or remotely serious, just entirely ridiculous. It feels like a superhero movie back from when no one really knew what that was supposed to mean, or, as a friend of mine put it so perfectly: "It's like a shit superhero movie from the nineties".

Review: Captain America: Civil War

Posted by Ali Gray at 14:00 on 05 May 2016
Captain America: Civil War
"So what is Vision?" I'm at the pub, still digesting Captain America: Civil War, and I've been caught off guard. "Well, he's... um...he's a, er... so Thor had this sort of bath, then Ultron, erm... You know the Mind Gem, th-..." Christ, I'm racking my brains and his first movie only came out a year ago. Marvel movies move pretty fast; if you don't re-watch regularly, or God forbid miss a movie, your pub trivia game will suffer. (My best guess: Vision is a space ghost fruit roll-up robot butler dressed by George at Asda). Civil War is the 13th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and if you haven't been paying attention over the last eight years, you're going to find it really, really hard to keep up. The MCU doesn't slow down, doesn't pull its punches and doesn't really do 'Previously, on the Marvel Cinematic Universe..." It has unapologetically and unreservedly been constructed from the ground up for fans - and those fans are going to go bend-over-backwards apeshit crazy for Civil War, arguably the movie that the previous 12 have all been working towards.

PLACEHOLDER: 5-star Civil War review [pending Marvel payment] ***DO NOT PUBLISH***

Posted by Ali Gray at 10:00 on 18 Apr 2016
PLACEHOLDER: 5-star Civil War review [pending Marvel payment] ***DO NOT PUBLISH***
Hi guys, just to let you know, the marketing arm of Marvel have been in contact with me as they have with all of the UK press to offer The Shiznit payment for giving Captain America: Civil War a positive review. I'm sure you remember that they already paid us the first £5,000 for giving Batman V Superman a negative review, but they've confirmed that the rest of the bribe will be delivered upon publication of our Civil War review, which I'm seeing tomorrow. Not that it matters.

Review: Deadpool

Posted by Ali Gray at 23:30 on 11 Feb 2016
Deadpool
You like to talk about tough superhero gigs. Thor was a tough gig. Mixing magic and mythology with grit and realism. Not easy. Guardians Of The Galaxy was a tough gig. Introducing an entirely new bunch of rogues unrelated to any existing properties. Tricky. Deadpool, however, is quite literally a tough gig: stepping up on stage to make with the laughs after being designated the 'funny' superhero movie. Like it's the one movie that has special dispensation to say what we all really think about superhero movies. That's a tough gig. What we ask of Deadpool is the movie equivalent of people who ask comedians to tell them a joke: a request to be funny on demand, on on our terms.

Review: Fantastic Four (2015)

Posted by Matt Looker at 07:00 on 06 Aug 2015
Fantastic Four (2015)
The old Fantastic Four films from 10 years ago are an embarrassment, aren’t they? All kid-friendly colours and CGI slapstick; they might as well be cartoons. It’s great then, that this – say it with me – gritty reboot finally aims to give comics’ First Family the big-screen outing they deserve. A film that treats Stretchy Man, Rock Guy, Fire Boy and Invisi-Girl with due reverence and respect. A film that takes a realistic approach to dimension-hopping science and explores the seriousness of.. oh god, no, I can’t do it. Come back, Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans and, yes even you, Michael Chiklis’ foam fatsuit. All is forgiven.

Review: Big Hero 6

Posted by TheShiznit.co.uk at 23:55 on 25 Jan 2015
Big Hero 6
If you want an example of how our relationship with technology has accelerated at a terrifying rate, show a young millennial the first Toy Story movie, which turns 20 years old this year. Made in 1995, the first fully CG-animated movie was a cinematic landmark yet it was still, tellingly, a tale of simple toys and derring do. That millennial you roped in (I won't asked questions how) will now look at Toy Story and turn their nose up at the relatively rudimentary visuals; they're much more likely to get their kicks from a movie like Big Hero 6, a breathlessly exciting, migraine-inducingly busy animation that must have surely pushed the Disney render farms to meltdown. Purely from a technological standpoint, it makes Toy Story look like a Punch & Judy show.

The trailer for your new superhero ensemble movie looks awesome

Posted by Matt Looker at 11:31 on 28 Oct 2014


Did you see Mr. Incredible's Chewbacca-buster armour? SO COOL.

A visual representation of post-Batman superhero movies

Posted by Ali Gray at 20:30 on 29 Jun 2014
A visual representation of post-Batman superhero movies
Tim Burton's Batman was released (more or less) 25 years ago this week. You could argue that it's the first modern superhero movie, the one that jumpstarted the whole movement - Superman: The Movie, let's face it, was a beautiful fluke. How has the superhero genre blossomed in the quarter of a century since Michael Keaton got the chafing of a lifetime? Like a wet Gremlin. Here's a handy visual guide as to how the superhero movie became so ubiquitous.

FAO Bananaman marketing bods: You're doing superheroes wrong

Posted by Matt Looker at 14:00 on 27 May 2014
Mouse over image to see what the poster SHOULD look like


Darker! Sadder! More feelings!

Unsung Heroes #1: the midwife from Willow

Posted by Luke at 23:51 on 14 Sep 2012
Unsung Heroes #1: the midwife from Willow
Join us in a new semi-regular feature, as we pay tribute to the movie characters whose valiant actions went unrecognised despite being massively vital to the plot. First up is a little old lady who got so little recognition I had to brighten the screenshot used in the banner image to see her face properly.
Out this week
+Star Trek Beyond (12A)
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+The BFG (PG)