In every way that matters – and it matters in every way – Avengers: Infinity War is basically the biggest movie ever. Ten years in the making, producing some of the highest grossing films on record and some of the most recognisable characters and franchises in the world, it’s astonishing that this climactic crossover event combining all of them in one big-screen adventure is even possible. What’s more astonishing is that it somehow meets every single impossible expectation you have for it.
Avengers: Infinity War signals the end of the first 10 years of Marvel movies and over the past decade we've gotten know the countless characters that have resided within the Marvel Cinematic Universe more intimately than our own weekend lovers. How better to pay our respects to the extended Marvel family than by systematically ranking each notable character from the MCU, pitting them all against one another in an arbitrary internet Royal Rumble? Fight! Fight! Fight!
Critics can't fawn over Spider-Man: Homecoming enough: hooray for a competent Spider-Man movie! There's no doubt that Marvel have to take some of the credit for Homecoming's success - Kevin Feige was parachuted into Sony HQ to save the franchise, and he did so by basically letting them have a go on Iron Man for a bit. Is it really that simple? Does adding Iron Man always improve a franchise? Sony aren't waiting around to find out: they've already green-lit the following new sequels to their existing franchises. Now to contact Robert Downey Jr and assume he's available!
There's a strange, unspoken relationship between a journalist and a film star that absolutely nothing personal must be discussed during an interview. Except, that is, when that film star is playing a superhero, in which case it's absolutely on message to ask them exactly how they pissed and/or shat while wearing their super-suit. The weirdest thing is just how willing the actors are to share.
Following his glorified cameo in Captain America: Civil War, everyone has been wondering exactly how how Marvel will reboot the character in his own solo outing. No one wants to see another bitey radioactive spider, but how do you tell an origin story without actually telling the origin story? Is he definitely part of the ongoing Marvel timeline forever more? Can he suddenly slot into the meticulously planned MCU? Basically, is the title correct? Is Spider-Man really coming home?
Stopped, just as he was really starting to throw his whole weight behind it. Who knows what kind of rhythmic body-jolting this would have resulted in had he been allowed to carry on?
"Just seen Captain America: Civil War. Need to revise my MCU rankings!!" a man promised his legions of Facebook friends this weekend and now the Internet has halted to a standstill awaiting what will surely be the definitive list of Marvel Cinematic Universe films, ordered by quality.
Marvel have released a new trailer for Captain America: Civil War and it showcases thrilling action, real investment in emotional plot beats and an awesome first look at our brand new Spider-Man. The problem is, it has been met with overwhelming excitement and positivity. Don't they know that the Internet wasn't built to sustain such a thing?
The actor Andrew Garfield vanished into thin air today, as all traces of the British 31-year-old evaporated and his collective atoms were forgotten for ever more. "Andrew who?" said an onlooker.
With a new Spider-Man movie in the offing and news that the character will be free to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's time to start looking for a new actor to play Peter Parker and his web-slinging alter ego. Let others come up with shortlists of who should play Spider-Man, we're going to narrow the field and rule out the people who shouldn't be allowed within sniffing distance of the role. You're welcome!
